Looking for the right holiday outfits without breaking the bank?

JCPenney is a one-stop shop for the whole family,

whether you're dressing up or dressing down.

JCPenney has a great range of apparel for men, women, and kids,

so you can spend the last time doing this.

And more time doing this.

Make your holidays count.

JCPenney, shop in store, or JCP.com.

This episode is brought to you by the podcast tools and weapons with Brad Smith.

You know, one of my favorite subjects to discuss is technology.

Because when you think about it, there are a few things in the world that can improve or destroy the world,

like the technologies that humans create.

The question is, how do we find the balance?

Well, one of my favorite podcasts that aims to find the answers to these questions

is hosted by my good friend, Brad Smith, the vice chair and president of Microsoft.

From AI to cybersecurity and even sustainability, every episode takes a fascinating look

at the best ways we can use technology to shape the world.

Follow and listen to tools and weapons with Brad Smith on Spotify now.

From HR to payroll, ADP designs forward-thinking solutions to take on the next anything.

ADP, always designing for people.

Doesn't suit.

No, no, no, no, no.

Anything can change the world of work.

See the world turns into one of those zombies shows.

Which one?

Any of them.

Relax, we've got ADP.

From HR to payroll, ADP designs forward-thinking solutions to take on the next anything.

ADP, always designing for people.

Doesn't suit.

Welcome, one of all, back again to our upcoming Climate Challenge.

Thank you.

It gets better and better.

Please welcome to the stage of Mayor of Harment Town.

Dan Harment.

Thank you.

Wow.

What a big crowd.

What's with the big crowd, Jeff?

What's going on?

Don't know.

Maybe your show got canceled.

I guess it was a big crowd last time, too.

I guess this is all we got now.

This is the all the people that were watching community.

I'll 200 of them.

What's next to you, Dan?

Are you going to rest on your laurels?

I'm really up in the air about that.

My fantasy, as you probably know, is to be able to not write ever again.

But there's this whole mortgage.

And I want to have a baby.

And baby need diapers.

And baby's going to go to college.

Because it'll probably be a fucking athlete.

Because that's just my car.

But if baby is an athlete, it'll pay for itself.

The scholarships.

Well, you're right.

You're right.

Well, anyways, the money, life is money.

I'm in the second half of my life now.

It's time for the selfless half of my life to begin.

I have met with my goddess.

I now need to atone with the cosmos.

Are you prepared to be a father?

Do you think that you're ready to bring a child into this world?

I mean, worst guys than me have done it.

Right?

That's not an answer.

The population of this planet is all that it's needed.

It's not that hard a job.

Project yourself into a three-year-old child of yours and errands.

Your father of a three-year-old.

Okay.

Am I in the child?

Do you say about that?

Yeah.

Project yourself into that reality.

Okay.

So you're a father of a three-year-old person.

Okay.

What's your day-to-day, your quotidian shit?

Well, I'm hoping, yeah, I hope I can work from home by that time.

I hope I can be like, you know, like a house husband, you know, and really put my full energy into the kid.

That's why I don't know what I'm going to do next because I could do the, I could do a Fox deal.

That's the, they had rolled that when community got, when I got my job back at community.

So there's like, there's that whole network sitcom world still waiting there.

Um, but now I have this opportunity I could, without really burning any bridges and I could walk away from that.

I could write movies.

I could, I could write a book.

I mean, I don't know.

What's your fantasy about, like, your next project?

If you could have anything, like, as your next thing, what would it be?

Well, I really want to, I want to, I want to write this one movie that I've been trying to write for 15 years now.

Dentalists?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Do that one.

Yeah.

And then maybe, can we talk about that or is it, would that be bad business?

I don't, well, I don't know.

Now let's not talk, no, I don't want to talk it out or anything.

Well, it's just, it's just a story I want to write, get off my deck.

But you, you and I used to go to the drawing room and talk about this movie and you would cry and, and not, and not write that movie.

Yeah, I've been, I've been working on it for quite a while, which is a good sign that you should probably shouldn't.

I don't know.

I always tell, I always tell the kids, like, don't throw that idea away that one you've been thinking about since high school.

Because it's too precious.

It's a, it's a, it's a recipe for writer's block, you know, like focusing on that thing.

But it also might be incumbent upon the, the elderly writers like myself to actually, you know, get around to that thing they always wanted to do.

Do you feel, I'll, I'll totally at 41?

Well, yeah.

I've, I've, I'm in the second half of my life. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not about to blow anyone away as a wonder kind.

Or pronounced vunderkind, right?

There's certain words I've only ever seen in type, I've never heard anyone say.

Bagel and Wonderkind.

Hey, hey, you know that, you know that Playboy liquor store over in Hollywood?

The, you know, it says Playboy liquor.

How are they getting away with that?

It's like crazy because there's a drive past that Playboy liquor store.

There's a liquor store in LA. It's a, it's called Playboy liquor.

It is, it is dead on the font of Playboy magazine, but the Y is a martini glass.

So, and it's just like Playboy liquor.

Like, hey, you like Playboy, it's rich tradition of high quality pornography.

Come on in with, it's just a fucking dirt balls liquor store.

Can't do that. You can't, you can't, you can't have like a Nintendo grocery store.

It's spelled Nintendo with a Y.

You can do whatever you want.

Don't, don't, don't, don't let me get in your way. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm half done living.

So, so Dan, you, you're getting married in what November? Yeah.

And then you're a married fellow. You're, you're, you're a husband. Yeah.

And then you're gonna have a baby. Yeah.

Or, you know, as far as we know, it could be twins. We don't, we don't know.

You might, you might suddenly be the father of twin girls.

Am I projecting on to Jeff or can anyone else sense that he doesn't want me to get married and have a baby?

No, you, you, you, you, you're projected.

You're projected. Okay.

A couple people are getting that pheromone off of it.

You're, you're, you're projecting on to me. Okay.

I'm saying like, like, you're, you're gonna be a fucking father. That's crazy.

Yeah. Crazy. Cool.

I'm all for it, man. Imagine me replicating myself genetic.

I know.

Horrifying. It's gonna be amazing. Imagine me, imagine me, imagine if you're a little kid and you want a bedtime story.

Then this motherfucker walks in.

Best writer in the fucking world.

Whoa.

All right. That's like, all right.

Dan, give me a bedtime story.

I, I, I am, I am 18 months old.

I am, my name is Vanessa.

Because, because Aaron named your first daughter of Vanessa.

Oh, man. She's got worse in store.

But what, what, what, what are the names?

She, I got one last night that she, she really like...

Scorpion.

She really likes that, that, she really, really likes that song.

It's in that, it's in that.

Was it Pedro, a, a minovar movie, there's a musician in one of the movies and he sings that song.

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I.

Contado, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo!

What's happening right now?

It's the it's the song it's like a

No, in the song what is it? Oh, no, there's some what does Aaron want that made me to be called

Do you have it now? I keep now. I've heard now. I forgot. She's not here. She's not here. Oh, she's at a show

What?

Paloma Paloma me's done. I mean it's tough, right? Yeah, who knew that?

What who's raising their hand?

Who are you?

His name is Darren McGathey

Your name is what oh

Okay, so you're just you're just guessing that could put you're right

Paloma yeah, yeah, yeah, but but you you didn't you didn't have a conversation with me about this

You you you you you you guessed. Yeah, Paloma Paloma. That's what it is. Didn't didn't but Casa name is daughter Paloma

I mean it means dove. Yeah, fine. Wait. She's a hack. I don't know

But I pull up my like I like they have a little daughter named Paloma. I cannot for somebody is

I wonder what I mean what if I'm sexist like I

Then let's let's take it to the bank

I think I I think I must be sexist or or or or the whatever the opposite of sexist is like

I would really like to have a daughter

And I also don't care what her name is like I as much as I would care like the maybe is it just like gender identity like like I

Like I know I'm more reticent

To name my son something weird than my daughter

Like I kind of feel like the daughter's name is it's just a fuck off like

Like that's misogynist

I don't know or is it or is it like I'm I'm already unconditionally loving my daughter

And I was just gonna make my son's life a living hell because I'm gonna be thinking that's little me

That's a little me and the daughter because why wouldn't your daughter be a little you too? You know why Jeff?

I don't know what she'll have a hole where her wiener should be

And you just can't

It's gonna be she's gonna she's gonna have her hands full with problems

She's hacking him. No, I'm very much

Looking for the right holiday outfits without breaking the bank

JCPenney is a one-stop shop for the whole family whether you're dressing up or dressing down

JCPenney has a great range of apparel for men, women, and kids

So you could spend the last time doing this

And more time doing this

Make your holidays count

JCPenney shop in store or JCP.com

This episode is brought to you by the podcast tools and weapons with Brad Smith

You know one of my favorite subjects to discuss is technology because when you think about it

There are a few things in the world that can improve or destroy the world like the technologies that humans create

The question is how do we find the balance?

Well, one of my favorite podcasts that aims to find the answers to these questions is hosted by my good friend Brad Smith

The vice chair and president of Microsoft from AI to cyber security and even sustainability

Every episode takes a fascinating look at the best ways we can use technology to shape the world

Follow and listen to tools and weapons with Brad Smith on Spotify now

What would you prefer if you could make a choice

Son or daughter?

I think I would prefer a daughter because I'm terrified of getting eaten by the kid like in a mythical sense

You know prom night and your teenage kid comes after you drunk and he's like fuck you old man

Yeah, that whole energy so you want a girl because she can't beat you up when she's 18

She'll be in air enough like it's like like sure her issues will be with she'll be like old lady fuck you and I'll be like now now

Your coke come sit with daddy and watch blazing saddles

It affects my bifocal. Does Aaron have a name for the boy if it's a boy

I also I've heard I've heard her throw out kormic

Reckon

Connor Connor is

I'll see names. I like biblical names. I like my name's Daniel. What does that mean?

God will be my judge

For real. Yeah, and I interpret that to me and only God

Oh my god. There's only god dot dot after that. Oh my god. I'll tell you the tire shoes. Yeah, exactly

God will be my judge. That's it motherfucker

Yeah, the story of Daniel's great. NBC Daniel was a dream interpreter for a king in the evening and then is uh his his rival colleagues

These the hacks they uh

They tried to they framed it. They they turned him in for praying to the wrong God

secretly and

He was using his position as a dream interpreter to kind of move the king in a in a Yahweh direction and

And the king was kind of under his psychological thumb because he was he was he was good at what he did

He was winning him with you know with being good at his job and

So his rivals tried to like turn him in and I can't remember how the rest of the story goes except it ends with

All of those right

They throw him in the lion's den and then God closes the lion's mouths and they pull Daniel out and they go

I guess you I guess you're on the winning team and then uh

And then they throw all of the guys that fucked with him and all of their families and all of their families families into the lion's den of the lion's

Eat them

It's a horrible story

God will be my judge

And also he'll kick ass on your behalf. Yes. He's in my corner

So I like that name and I

I and I yeah, I would I would like I wouldn't mind just a straightforward kind of Hebrew Hebrew name for my kid like what

I don't know

I have to look I have to look it up. I want to look up all the stories and see what kind of myth

I would like to look like the kid to

To be able to delve into

Your parents thought about Daniel as a name for you and and had like

Four sites my mom said that she chose the names based on

She wanted to she named me and my brother with these alliterative names Doug and Dan

She she said at one point that the way she picked the names

Was she imagined them being announced over the loudspeakers at a football arena

Like quarterback Dan Harmon

Douglas yeah, yeah, like like like like oh, there's the Harmon brothers Doug and Dan out there

Flour with a football around

Anyways

That I want to see you as a father. I you're gonna. I know

I'm going to and I want to I want to see you

Change the diaper

I'm gonna be good at that

What qualifies you to be

Well, I don't I don't change my underwear very often so when I do it's gross

So I'm prepared for

Yeah, no, no, you're not prepared for that

No, I am why is a guy that doesn't change his own underwear qualify to change another human being cuz I take him off

And I'm like this and I throw I throw him in the hamper and that's what you do when you change a diaper

Shit everywhere that's it. It's about tidiness. It's about health

I'll see you in the parental funny papers, baby

I'm gonna raise the fuck out of this kid you be you being a father

You're gonna get what you don't want you're gonna you're gonna get some some strangely

The person that you didn't want to raise a human being

Yeah, and you'll be there giving it's

Probably good good bedtime stories

Good what was the bedtime stories?

Yeah, I mean that that opportunity one away

Checking

You're gonna have a child

This is the batting cages of learning how to tell a baby story. I

I don't uh

Vanessa

I

There once there was this farmer

And he kept telling it is it is fields sake it make little jelly bean plants

and

And then one day one of the jelly bean plants looked up at her and said please don't harvest me

I have a magical jelly bean plant. I don't want to be harvested. I need to I need to stay here

So that so that I can keep talking to you hanging out

You can have all the other jelly bean plants

Don't don't don't cut me down

so the

farmer who was also a princess

A obliged the magic jelly bean plant harvested all the others

Took them inside to her father and said here's the jelly beans. He counted them up

I count only seven jelly bean plants worth of jelly beans here

Rodriguez

I

That is because one of them was magical and asked me that silence

Bring me my belt

Why you know why

Whoa, where is it over there on the dresser

The

Slowly Rodriguez went and grabbed the belt off the dresser with trembling hands

Handed it to her father

Who put it on because his pants were just falling down a little

And then he ran out to the field with Rodriguez and they talked to the jelly bean plant and they had an hour

Conversation about covering a wide range of topics and

And including how to irrigate better so that they they ended up growing more jelly bean plants than ever and they just so so the moral is go to sleep

It's terrors episode one

You're gonna you're gonna be good that yeah, thank you

Thanks, thanks. Thanks everybody

I'm just looking through this is a playboy liquor

Bumper stickers. I don't really oh dear

I wouldn't be the first person to not understand bumper stickers

I understand like if you're if you're in a band you put your bands bumper sticker on your bumper because it's like hey

It's my car. I'm gonna promote my band with my bumper sticker. I understand like I just I just I just the the the

The clever ones like the pithy ones like the like

He's a little something about me, you know, I don't I don't get it, but we don't have to talk about it

Wait for instance what was I can't remember I don't know. I just saw

Well, I saw yeah, I mean, I don't know. I just told I just I know I can't think of any really honestly. There's just what you know

What what about ones that espouse

Like a political agenda like like like I think it's a bad idea to have a bumper sticker because

The it can't be so large that I could read it from far enough a way to be safe to read your bumper sticker

You know, I have to get close enough to read your political philosophy and maybe hit you

I'm I'm almost positive that no one on this earth has ever been converted to anything by a bumper sticker

So I don't know what what purpose

Like like they're never is it just like is the idea that it's just like well whittle away at you

I saw a bumper sticker said honk if you're horny

You like that one I honk

You ever see that guy on the corner outside the vista theater and he's uh, he's always holding a sign that says honk for peace

And he keeps and he keeps gesturing like he's like he gets he seems really exasperated when people aren't honking

And then people honk and then he just like gives them a big thumb up

I got I got 40 questions for that guy

like like

I just like like like like the

How do you know when you're finished

Like like when what how does that work like why is he mad at people who don't honk like you can I can already see

The anger on his face when he doesn't get the honks he wants like so I know that if he was in control of an army

He'd attack someone I

He's just in control of a sign so he just goes

I've seen that guy but before I see him I hear a bunch of honking which makes you unhappy because the sound of

Ah, horns. Yeah, it's like make your baby cry if you want world peace

Poke your baby in the eye

It's like a sound that distresses you

Isn't that wonderful how babies crying like what really makes a subset like on an airplane?

You know you hear that sounding like you know you get you think you think you're about person because you're like shut that fucking baby up

But but really the reason you're upset is because you you you're having an instinctive reaction to a human child

Distress and and what you're frustrated by is the fact that you can't do anything about it

You're not allowed to do anything because we're not we're a we're a we're a disenfranchised tribe

Ryan styles are the coolest thing in the world. We're on a plane and Ryan has is three children

And there's a woman brought a baby on board and first class and the baby was just screaming and like

Probably three-year-old boy

just fucking absolutely

Object's like pain the screaming and Ryan said can I get like can I take your baby?

Ryan took the child and he doesn't like to fly Ryan's like is a bad flyer like he just does not like flying

He took the child and walked out of first class down like all the way to the back of the plane and the crying stops

Ryan killed that baby

North Korean soldiers never never never got on the bus all we heard was a door open and

Ryan came back with what Ryan came back with a quiet child and sat down and and leaned his chair back and and put the baby

this toddler on his chest and they went to sleep for the next four hours

And the mother was like when we landed you do that you goes

Like give it a change of scenery

Like I take the baby for a walk once in a while

I like move it around and don't panic

It was so cool. It's like like

It's possible to take a crying baby in a plane and like like a swage the pain

Yeah

I always imagine the babies are like their ears aren't popping. I don't know how terrifying it would be for the baby

I always think about that too like people bring animals on the on the plane like they're in the cargo bay or whatever and

Like they must be back there like what the fuck is going on

Is it weird how dogs love being in cars and cats are like fuck you like

It's so amazing. Doc dogs are so comfortable with everything like Aaron just puts fucking t-shirts on the dog

It's a hat on his head. Is it like he just doesn't he doesn't get it

He just he just feels like like oh, this is my job

I'll just I'm dressed like a lizard now

Like cats are like he puts up like on a cat and it's like it starts running around backwards like a crayfish

Trying to back out from it

Like cat cats do not cotton any kind of unnatural behavior or costume any or

Uh, all right. This I I I let's let's break the Kumail glass cuz to get this show a kick in the ass

I'm hung over so the show's low energy. So I'm bringing out the big guns

The show's been going great. I've been listening and watching these people love it

They're like yeah kind of Camille

We're on board kind of Camille is it just me or do you get sex here every time I see you I've been taking pills

What sort of pills just like died pills?

They work guys don't listen to what moms say

Here I'm making you a drink. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Oh, I'm just using my hand to put the ice in the cup

Camille do you fancy yourself a father?

You know, it's so weird that you guys are talking about this because we've been talking about it like it's been like we're

I don't know. I don't know. It's hard. It's one of those things your whole life

You know, you think life's gonna be certainly supposed to do certain things in my whole life

I'm like I'll be a dad someday. I'll be a dad someday. My kid's gonna be great and then at a certain point

You're like well, do you do I really want to be a dad? It's hard like

Ask yourself a question that you thought the answer was made for you your whole life

And now in my 30s, I'm like do I really want that? I don't know. It's it's very hard to think about

I would imagine you being a good father. I don't think I'd be a bad father. I think I'd be a good father

But I don't know if I I don't know if I want to be a father. I don't know we've just started

Certainly we don't need it's that incumbent upon us to

Yeah, to to choke the planet was more

flesh

If people are having that would be that's like the worst guy in the college is Debra

You're gonna have a little thing that chorks the planet was more flesh. That's what

Yahweh said in the old testament, right? He said go go forth and choke the planet. Yeah, flesh

I mean it's gonna hurt when you take a shit from now on

Dan like are you driven like do you feel like a party you need to be a father?

Yeah, it's to be a father. Why do you want to be a father?

Do you feel that way? I feel driven to it. I feel like I go I always go

When I have to make a choice. I go best case worst case, you know

Compare all the possibilities the

The worst case scenario having a kid is having a kid and just being like anybody else and has a kid just like like like like I got

I had a kid and you know sometimes people with with kids are secretly like warn you and when no one's listening like don't do it

Yeah, oh yeah, I've been pulled aside at parties like listen, but it's always tongue in chat

I mean they they mean it, but it's truth and just but and they're there but the that's the worst case scenario is

Is regretting like as having is is having a kid and wondering what it would be like to be a bachelor and play video games and

Or just be with Aaron and not have a kid, you know like what shrub and Kate are doing like they're not they're not having kids

They're just hanging out like like like what the worst the worst case scenario is is is worrying about that

What am I missing the worst case scenario with not having a kid is?

Is far worse. It's like like like being 70 years old and going like I've had a pretty good life

We've had our ups and downs and our chuckles, but I'm gonna die

Bring in the people I'll say my final words do yeah, there is no one. Yeah

Bring in little Danny Jr. No, he's you you you traded his soul in for playing Wolfenstein

That's the reason to have a child is that that you feel like you're at your dying

Breath that you you wish there was a yeah version of you, but it's not it's not just about my dying breath

I'm talking about all those years in between too

I'm sure what I'm trying to what I'm trying to say is that

Wondering what it would have been like to have children is for me a more dire

Fate than wondering what it would be like to not have children. Yeah, something that I have 41 years of experience with I already I

I know the path that I've been on and I know that

Sometimes I wish it would last forever. You're like this going great. Let's bring a couple children into this

We also know that my hair is falling out and that and that my

You know, I don't have my boobs are sagging and and I have boobs

And I'm melting. I'm dying. I'm disintegrating and and and so you combating mortality by having children

Is that what it is? No, it's not like a pharaoh thing like I want to my legacy. It's not it's not it's that is for a lot of people

No, it's it's it's it's it's it's no I would never I would never put that whammy on a kid

I hope I hope he's a garbage man. My mom used to tell me be it be a garbage man be the best garbage man

Everybody works with I don't give a shit what you do

Because because who are we kidding everybody's been doing remarkable things for 6,000 years

Where has it gotten them who gives a fuck like just have a good life?

Harmon Jr. That was like inspiring and cynical at the same

The it's it's the the awareness of my mortality is I'm saying like

I want to tell a story with my life and and I am I'm halfway through that story

um and if

If I for me

Reproduction is the second half of a full life. Oh, I thought it was like setting up a sequel

You know when like Freddy's hand comes out

Happening

I don't I don't even know how to like think about this because you know

I for me a reason that I always assume that wanted kids was like, you know

That's how you because I have you know

I've been thinking about death my whole life

And I'm like that's how for me you combat it you get a kid and then that person continues on the stuff

You've done and you sort of live on through them

But now I'm like well, I kind of want to live on through the stuff I do

You know like you sort of like the you know

Shows you right or whatever that kind of stuff. So so I think I would rather do that

But I don't know

I don't even know how to start thinking

Seems like so much your parents have a an opinion about whether you should be a father or not like me

Yeah, did they care about you? Yeah, they have a very strong opinion

They're very proud

I'm like now

And I kind of want to be like remember how difficult it was when I brought a white woman home now I'm bringing a person

You can't even separate the person. It's like a swirl like there together

It's gonna be so much more complicated

Like this is like we went to fucking a cold stone and mixed it all up

There's no conversation now, so do you think they're excited about that or yeah, I was just with them this weekend

And they brought it up a lot so there I mean

Like like when you you will you reference you're how difficult it was when I brought a white woman home

Like what was the family situation when you normally started going out when you when it was time to meet the parents

We talked we've talked about your parents like ambitions for you. We wanted you to be a doctor. Yeah

I mean they so they had maybe ambitions for you in terms of your mate as well

Oh, yeah, they used to send me pictures of women like because it's all a rage marriage, you know

So it's all these women who so this is how it's set up

There's like older women in the community who are always aware of like oh, you know that they have a girl

She just there in the market like today

They know the guys and then other women in the market

So they show me these pictures that are obviously these old ladies taking pictures of like these girls at

Weddings and stuff like you know, they're eating they're like caught unaware

It's completely true and my mom would send it over with like sort of like a resume like she's you know

She's pre-med. She's got a green card so that's not going to be a problem

And I kept saying no to them and I swear the women got more and more attractive

So last one was like fucking Cleopatra like she was stunning

So if you're in Pakistan and you're listening to this podcast like always like hold out

Oh, yeah

Hold out they're bluffing they're bluffing

Even if you're gonna stay in the system

What was I wonder if it works that way for the for the poor girls?

Yeah, like do they're men I don't know choices get

Yeah, but I know when you go to the store and you're like hey, what what's the shit in the back?

What do you have in the back?

Yeah, what's what's that girl? The Cleopatra is that that girl. What's her steak and like what is she

She's getting me, dude. What the fuck

They're merging the house nanjiani with yeah

It is like that

So funny it's the iron bank will

We saw much stronger. Yeah, no, it totally is like that. It's more of a

Packed between two families rather than just

Love we actually have a term for a marriage. That's not a range. They call it love marriage. It's called love marriage

Which here seems so

Redunded but over there and they say it's like a bad term like oh, she had a love marriage

Love marriage meaning she had a say in the matter

Don't you always have a say in the matter or the difference is whether you you get set up

You sort of hang out

So it'll be like the two families meet and then they're like fine and excuse to leave in the guy in the girl

It there and you talk and then you decide like yeah, this is the person rest of my life

Is it male

Is it male driven or female driven like who's driving that car both people can say no it's like in that

It's fairly even for how crazy a system it is the woman can say no, and she doesn't have to get married in the guy

Can say no and they don't have both have to say yes. All right. Yeah

It's a little charming

Do you think

Do you little charm?

Well, I mean it's try it's charming like from the vantage point of

Currently pissed off I mean as I think we all are about that fucking douchebag that that didn't get laid and

Killed a bunch of people and blames it on women like like like and then also there's two

I'm just hung over you're bummed out about that guy. Yeah

Yeah, I know that's I mean it also like there's been two attacks with Griffith Park girls just taking a walk

And they can't take a walk because a guy is kind of fucking attack them like like it's different being a woman

They're being a guy because men expect things and when they don't give what they want

They actually do attack. It's it's the worst fucking thing in the world. I used to I was so

I was like I made it into my late 20s before I knew that that was a real thing like I would get mad

My girlfriends when they would come home and they like like the first girlfriend that came home and said like

the guy out there

The one on the corner that's selling the oranges like he makes these fucking sounds like like when I when I walk by him

I'm like, what are you talk come on guys selling oranges? He's on orange is it

No, it happens all the tea's just being angry that you're a woman and then and

Doesn't happen the other way or or or yeah making like they make like kissy kissy sounds and like and then and comments and stuff like that

If a woman's not with with the man sometimes if she is

Like like like and I

The the crazy thing to me was when I was like 29 that when I first was being introduced to that concept in a second-hand

Fashion by one of my girlfriends my my immediate

emotional response was was knock it off stop stopping dramatic like like I had like a weird

Membrane there that was inherently

misogynist like I was as if there was like like there was a there was a robo cop directive like like in my programming

They were where you know women like like like like like the idea of as I was just I just believed in my brain

I was like I was like you're making that up. That's crazy like like like like women don't walk around on the sidewalk and just constantly

Get harassed every day and it's also like an everyday thing

I mean I want I can't speak for women

There's probably women here that would absolutely say it better, but like you're prepared for guys to be shitty to you at all times and

And in and knowing that they're that they're riddled with testosterone

Learn how to not get raped by what you wear what you say how you reject somebody

You say you have a boyfriend when you don't you you give a fake phone number like guys never have to do that. It's just the ugliest thing in the world and

I hope that the people that died on this fucking because of that little asshole

I hope the conversation becomes something so cool that actually like guys change like like I actually grow up and learn that what they want isn't a mandate like

Women aren't simply

Things that will get fucked

They can say fuck you. I don't want I don't want to fuck you like I don't like that. That's not who I am

Yeah, I think that's I mean I I don't want to be the guy who says it's over no more problems

I'm sorry, but I want to be hopeful and say I feel like when I monitor the younger generation

I feel like they are and it's so far away for that like women got the vote

They're moving way later the black people like like like like like we had we know we know we've yeah

We we we like the hater women. We will be we will be misogynist way after we fix racism like we're terrible and

And women are the coolest like they have everything on us so that they're they're they're

Now being massage my women's fucking going on

I just

That was that what that was going were you gonna talk go ahead? Sorry

How was it gonna get misogynist thing? I want to know it's like a guy talking about what women should or should not get

Well, they shouldn't be is treated like anything other than a person and this little guy is saying

He's probably crazy like like we have the fuck was going on with him

The idea of that because he's a 24-year-old virgin and then he has to kill blonde women

It's like it's you know and then on Twitter people backing that guy up saying hey

It's Memorial Day man like stop your your your your feminist bullshit and support our troops

Because it's fuck wait, what oh, yeah, that's a pretty big thing

Well, it's a weird that's a weird comment section

Plant any flag there were people because it was the art yes all women think going on right as opposed to the not all men

A rapey. I'm I'm I'm I'm the coolest guy not all men

Not all men do that but women are saying no yes all women have to learn how to not get raped when they walk through a fucking like

You know like parking garage and shit like like women. I have to deal with it all all women do

Yes, not all men are bad people but all women have to learn how to deal with

Guy is being bad at rejection

I really wish I'd met that little fucker the day before he did that like wait

You didn't have like a psychic dream that this

Which funny is that kind of good

What what go ahead you have the floor now?

What was the psychic dream that I don't want to get off

Just let's do a quick side, but I just

Like it's it's almost like I feel like I wake up after things happen and feel like something

Subliminally have all you like sort of backtrack and you like so that that I did not have a dream that a guy was going to go

Right punish women because he's an asshole

That would be a stupid dream because that should be the story of every movie that we make

I didn't think we were gonna we were gonna talk about this guy because I imagine that all the all the podcasts are but I

And my goal as always is originality

But but but now that we're on the topic. I was just what I just watched the video in the green room

and I

I was stricken by

how

Strangely disingenuous he's he acted like he was acting. Yeah, when he's talking like like his father's at your rectarium

He's

Oh

Joking bow. Oh, no. He's an ad. Oh, I don't know some weird. He was like acting like he's like, yeah, Josh. I'm so in some

Yeah, let's fucking giggles like oh you like it was some but that's so weird. You're being shitty at being a bad guy

He's he's acted yeah, but I didn't understand that because it was like normally when somebody is

Acting that way and you feel like they're being dishonest

There's something inside them that they're suppressing and keep it down, but for instance

I hate women because they don't love me and I'm gonna I want to kill all of them like like this guy's saying that

So what are you hiding out? What is his what was his secret? And he's saying that he seems so the secret is he's an asshole and

Like he he probably had everything going for him except the fact that nobody likes him and he

That's what he says to it. I bet he had a real shitty vibe

Raising her hand in the eyes

Come on say hey

Take an easy buddy

Adam gets to bring her up. He's got by the way. He has a chair for his laptop

Nobody's out here

So I just wanted to I just read an article. It's not like I knew this guy or anything

So turns out he was into pickup artistry, but he was all the game

Well, like the thing we don't have men try to get the game

Sure, yeah, yeah, there was a book that a guy wrote that's like a very specific thing

He was into that but it didn't work for him

So he was a member of this group that was called Pua haters or Pua hate or something

Who has pickup artistry is what they refer? I know it already sounds gross

That that can be a thing

So yeah, so he's a member of this like this this online community of people who hate pickup artistry because it didn't work for them

So they're like so now not only were they already angry at women

They're not doubly angry because these techniques just didn't work. Yeah, even science doesn't work

Exactly that's how awful when even the science of being just verbally abusive and deceptive to women

Yeah, is that that friend's own thing? Is that part of that?

I don't think so because I've done Twitter. There's a whole thing about like friend's own here

I think that's separate. I think friend zone. Please correct me from wrong. I thought friend zoning was like no

This is never gonna happen. You know been friend zone. Yeah, yeah

And the men being mad at the idea that women could possibly send you to the I don't have to fuck you cornfield

So

So so he got mad that there was a book that he read that didn't get him laid

Right that didn't get him laid and then and then and then he was part of these this group of people

Why did he stay out those three Chinese guys like that?

He

There was he that I can't he also hated he hated this is another part of it

He's biracial and so he's half his half

I forget what kind of Asian but and half white and he hated Asian guys and on message boards

He'd be like you guys suck girls don't want you and he said that it was his part Asian-ness that drove women away

Because women don't like Asian

He was racist against himself. Yeah, well part of himself. Well. He was telling me. Yeah, this guy had no shortage of a

Shortage of dick

Yeah, I mean, it's not a brave stance to I mean, whatever. I don't know what we said. Yeah, we know that. Oh, thank you

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Oh

Thank you stuff. What was what was her name did you go any Annie?

She had a night for the listeners. You know, you know pink sweater and a pink bow in her hair is like

Very

Any way you from I'm I came from El Segundo, but I'm originally from San Francisco. I'll say good

I left my wallet somebody somebody here came from New York, and he was telling me outside that

That Harmentown got him through Hurricane Sandy. What?

Because he didn't have any power and they just had a bunch of podcasts on the computer and they would I my question was like

If you didn't have power, what did you they said they would go to an office or one of them worked?

I think and listen to

Harmentown through through I mean and it helped him survive

It would be so great if you asked what it was and it wasn't anybody you just like had like in your head

You made it up and bought it. I was there when politicians do that. I talked to a plumber named Mike. It was like that

Camille has the

I become a street celebrity now like from

Yeah, my horns can't count for twice the piece actually

When I'm hot for that guy for sure now everybody like like the amount of people

Stopping you in the grocery store must have must have gone up by a tenfold, right?

Yeah, people do recognize me. It's kind of every day. It happens every day. It's like people really like the show

So yeah, every like now when you're free stuff when you read for that

I don't we haven't talked about this like when you read for that was that something that you thought that they

Written kind of for you or that you were just auditioning for it

Like well, I didn't know I auditioned for two parts that I didn't get TJ's part TJ Miller

Our next part and a big hat and I didn't get them and they just select the names

They they said you're not right for these but we'll write something for you and you always hear that whenever you have a good audition

You don't get it. Don't worry. We'll write in for you, and it's just like the guy who breaks the scene

Never yeah, or they'll you bring the Chinese food one episode, you know

But then they were like yeah, we're gonna write something for you and I didn't hear anything for a while

And then the final round of auditions was happening and I was out of town and I was like I kind of fly back early

But I couldn't fly back early, so I was like all right

I'm gonna miss the final round of auditions and then I landed and I had this phone call

There was all my agents and manager and everybody and I was like oh, this is something

And they said that you they wrote a part for you and that we I'm gonna be in the show and it was

I did one audition just with Mike and from that like I didn't have to do like the whole round of testing and shit

I did one audition with Mike judge and then really wrote a thing. You didn't have to do that fucking horrible thing or people go

It was HBO that's some kind of like do their own thing. So Mike was like oh, I like this coming right something for they're like

Okay, great if you like them. You use them fucking awesome. It was awesome. It was the easiest like

Wasn't the easiest job to get I was fucking terrified going into the audition because it's Mike judge and you know

It must be Carolyn Strauss, right?

The the she must be some kind of

Mad genius because she's been there forever at HBO and

HBO plays this really high-risk high-yield game

Television they bet all that they have on shows hoping that they become game of throne sopranos

They become because their money's made from subscription. They don't give a fuck about ratings. They give it care

They want people to buy the product and they have to actually make they have to create cultural phenomena

Yeah, they have to do business

They have the buy-in is so much bigger. It's not just a shit that people aren't just giving them a half hour of their time people are giving them

You know 20 bucks a month or whatever

So you have to create shows that like become part of make people on the subway start to just

Humiliated that they don't know

Active Game of Thrones. Yeah, you have to make people you have to bully people into like okay, fine

I can subscribe to this. Yeah, I'm so tired of hearing what these dragons for me the

The wire was like that. Yeah, I

Got it. I mean, you haven't seen the wire. I'm gonna watch it. Just like don't ever have to hear that

HBO's been in that business for decades now successfully like that and it's like that's not and all the other networks

They're like oh we'll make 20 pilots and then we'll you know

Next year we'll be bad other than the one that's good also made

10 one out of 10 won't make it past six episodes and it's like this ridiculous fuck off like frog eggs being laid

Dilling that they're all gonna be eaten. Dan. I you should like I mean

You should do like an HBO kind of thing or like as a scripted like like myth a larger. Maybe my child will

Perhaps that's what I what I'm what I'm

Gearing up to yeah, I would like my child. Yeah, I have an overall deal at HBO

That is so interesting because the it's the opposite approach like networks like you said for our eggs at an HBO

did better like a hundred million dollars in the first season of

Game of Thrones. Yeah, they would have been out a hundred million. Oh, what I didn't know what they were doing

That would be a horrible mistake, but it made deadwood and they ran out of money on that

But right like they couldn't finish the season because it was too expensive. Is that what it was?

Right I thought it was like milk got busy and like bored

I thought that they just like ran out of dough. Well, it's like an HBO has dope

Rome I never saw it. Let's let's get some of these television questions answered by entertainment experts Spencer Crittenden

I

Master of Dungeons and

Television industry gossip

I love the way they talk like when they say on deadline with their like fest or Helbert. I can't read that stuff

Oh, yeah, it makes you feel so tiny

Because I

Everything being reduced to like this actual industry like that makes me it makes me nervous whenever I

Mean in a waiting room, and I see the variety on the table. I'm like

Fuck and I kind of like glance at some of the headlines and I go

It's like a it's like walking through a casino like all of a sudden you're I don't know

I I I got this part by denial of the world around me like I just do what I do

Then I read these headlines and I go I want an overall deal. Yeah, I want I want to I want to 11 million dollars from scribe pen helm

Laugher

Scripter and Scrippy like I want to be one of these guys

I want to I want a photo that doesn't look like I have yellow teeth and tiny hands

Some of those you can't control

My hand size is always gonna. No, I'm at the other stuff. Yeah

Spencer, what do you think about the television industry? Yeah, deadwood too expensive?

Tensor like no television industry. That's an it exists

Jesus Christ he's high. Yeah, I just think that reality shows are bad every time someone watches or every time anyone mentions a reality show by name

I always like go through this mental process like Jesus Christ someone watches reality shows. Oh, yeah

They're very popular a lot of people like those Jesus Christ. I'm talking to someone who watches reality shows

But you're not counting project runway, right?

Yeah, I can't I mean

That was different because it's actual skill merit based those people are trying to be good

And it's usually a pretty positive show Aaron just started binge watching project runway and I now know I'm starting to learn about fashion

I think

Tell me what you know about fashion. This is what I know

If if your outfit can be

Compared to a pop cultural reference. It's bad

so if if if if if a gay man can look at what you're wearing and and and and and

Reasonably compare it to Pac-Man or strawberry shortcake if you if you could say anything while you're looking at it that like that makes everyone go ah

It's it's sort of like it's it's just like playing the dozens fashion like it's like it's like like the person comes out

And then it's like the bad outfit is the one that it's too evocative of like like I don't know

I I'm looking at this side. She seems like a housewife from Tron. Yeah

Fucking you're eliminated your gun

It's also

Every time that that one guy. I don't know who the guy is. I love that. I love that tomb gun guy

I don't know why it guns great, but then there's the other guy

I mean, I'm gesturing. I'm gesturing with my hands. Just do a just do a face to my vagina giant head

That's that one guy. He's the guy that what's his name?

Michael that's Michael chorus. All right

If if if he if he can say that your outfit looks like blank then you're fucked

It's interesting to do any of his references go beyond the 80s

Oh, you hear a game of throne sometimes. I get all of his references

Like I always get all of them like he looks at the thing. He goes like malox like a like a

Kinky charms

Could you do his impression of me coming on stage like dress dress like I'm dressed I can't I can't really do an impression of him

It'll just sound like a homophobic like like stereotype Tim Gunn. I think I was doing pretty good on I can't

Give it up. I can't give give

Give Camille the Tim Gunn treatment wait. No, I don't want that

I did got really there's five minutes designers

I have to tell you I'm starting to get very concerned

Okay, so this is an average a line is is she thin-wasted your model?

Oh, she's high-wasted well, then you're okay. You're gonna put the shawl on well, that's a relief

I'm I have to tell you I'm very excited about this keep keep going keep doing what you're doing

He is like that

He is like that it's interesting because Emily watches that show and I was like fuck this show and then I watched like three episodes later

I'm like yeah, we know you can drape Rami show with something new

Like I know what they're gonna say before they say it

It's also interesting how far down the list being wearable is in their criteria like when they say oh

And that's wearable you hear that once every three episodes

It's it's made out of tires and the like the model is holding the hem because if she lets go

This will be naked. Yeah. I love what you did. It's bold. It's dangerous. It's aggressive. It's like a random adjective

If all they can come up with this random adjectives that sound like you're describing like a car. Correct. Yeah

It's smoothie. It's suspicious. It's it's worthy 11. It's impeccable

But if they can say uh

Oh boy, it looks like Popeye is going to the spaghetti factory

I mean I am what I am, but this is not what I am

I love that you guys both have girlfriends or wives and watch that show. It's a great show

I mean watching quotes man. I'm sitting there. I'm playing Wolfenstein on my laptop

Pretty good, right? Yeah, I'm loving it. Yeah. I've been playing that too. It's a fun game. What's what do you do? You got Wolfenstein, baby Spencer

No, I don't I don't I don't game on my laptop

But you're aware of Wolfenstein. Oh, of course

It's the premier Nazi shooting game. That's exactly right. It's an anti-Nazi game

What did German people feel like when they when they buy that game the German version actually is kind of different they have like

Not swastikas and stuff. It's all like censored and stuff. Are you joking? No?

Yeah, the Nazis have these little eagle insignias or something like that

Just because of the actual visual like the the image of a swastikas like the n-word like it's just a thing that's inflammatory

It's not it's not like the Germans don't know that they're watching German soldiers get knifed in the face

I think they get it and it's like it's it's such a brutal like it's oh yeah

They get knife in the face sometimes Taylor's raising his hand

I smoked so much for so many years and then I quit and now that I

Whenever I smell smoke I get like queasy. Yeah, I think that's how they are with swastikas. No, I know that

I'm yeah, I know that they were like we were way into it

That was not a fact. I know yeah when I drink gin if I taste gin

Yeah

Yeah, I had a horrible Jaeger night one night

I could never that's how they are with us. I immediately

Picture the playground where I puked my guts out like

Drag right drink a bottle of gin

It was the only thing on the playground on a playground. Well, it was it wasn't like I was like I wasn't it wasn't there as a student

So it was it was a playground in a park near my home. That's way worse. You're a grown-man drinking gin looking at children playing

It was not a grown man, and it wasn't watching children play. It was nighttime. Oh

Wait, that was an abandoned playground

That time. Oh good

Where where do you want me to go on the Russian tea room? Where am I supposed to drink gin when I'm 15?

But no, I know I know the Germans are pulled a 180 for sure. I mean

Well, I'm saying like I wonder how they feel when they let's like because we meanwhile like we don't

It's it's it's kind of a funny thing like in this in this world of like like like hey

Don't watch what you say and how you do it in this long-standing thing that's been accepted as a way of

Expressing ourselves like that's let's take a second look at that and

We've definitely like never gonna you can always just have

You know just show like Nazis and then just fucking like stab them in the eyes and go like you fucking Nazi cock sucker

Fucking fucker you fucking Nazi piece of shit

Even whether it's just a guy taking a pee like in this game. You're just like you just you know

I mean like like they're they're just soldiers walking around like like and there's actual actual

That what the reference is to their wives and family. It's like like it's like a joke

How cruel it is like there's there's you're listening to them talk about their what my wife is

Yeah, like it's a job for me. I've been actually killed and it's a new fucking like slit their throat

And like drink their blood because you know, they're Nazis and I just what I just I just

I just picture like a German 16-year-old buying the game and being like man

No one any of this is a bout man

Yeah, I really get I really got handed a fucking

A lot of karma

Fucking weird to it's also interesting that in games when they want to be super violent

They just made the bad guys Nazis because then you could do anything to them and everyone's kind of on board

I mean is it is it is it is it trite or inflammatory to point out that that's a very

Naziistic way of dealing with our

feelings

About things like that you pick a scapegoat and you yeah, you make them the other and then you're fucking more

British people or

Russians are always our bad guys in films because they're they were the other are faux like yeah, I was in a phobic bullshit

like Germany like

When the Nazi party came to power

They didn't have the majority they got they got like a lot of the vote and and Hitler became the chancellor

A lot of people didn't like the Nazi party when they became powerful

There was the essay and the SD and this police force

That if you didn't like them you were sent to a fucking concentration camp and if you're intellectual if you were a smart Jewish gay

Like like lots of other interesting things. You you were simply

pushed away

Most of Germany like most of Europe at that time very anti-Semitic like

There was lots of countries. Oh sure. Yeah, like like Jews weren't

Welcome in most countries back then that's fucking terrifying man when you were literally in the history high school history books like they always

Just you know they throw that aside like it's always just this formula with dictatorships is that

Is that that stage where they round up the intellectuals?

They round up the doctors and the some of the like everyone in this room is fucking dead

Yeah, that's like like if if if something shit goes down in this country like the economy collapses

And then there's like this you know this is this is what happens like economic

turmoil is the potting soil for fascism

Because because some guy in a uniform is going to come out and he's going to tell everybody in the mainstream that

They're going to be safe as long as we make our new business blowing shit up and

And that is exactly what happens over and over and over again

And then I'm gone. I'm I'm in the first fucking

Yeah, I just out for never reason in my head and you guys know what Jeff Foxworthy's you might be a retina

I think just in my head. I was like you might be a dictator like if you are rounding up all the intellectuals

You might be a dictator

If you take reason is a reasonable thing

You might be a dictator

They call it fascism. They call it dictatorships and people are cool with that like like that was the thing well

But that wasn't a fact that also also women absolutely marginalized

Women were simply stop trying to get laid

Stop trying to make my feminism about me getting laid

This is how you're calling yourself a feminist you really are trying to get laid

Yeah

Also like there was some fucking fucking fuck away on

Internet that said because like

This is like a fucking Andy Rooney rant

Somebody's like like Jeff hates men. So no, I said a nice thing about women and that like that

That's me being like anti men like that's fucked up

Like men need to grow the fuck up and start

Like

I'm not trying to be sexy. I'm not trying to get laid

Trying to be sexy

This shit comes naturally

It's just how I am. Yeah, I just make feminism look good

Also, there should be more women in our show. How about that?

What do you expect?

No, it's Jeff you were like

There was a you know, there's a tragic shooting not too long ago, but Jeff's like

There's a guy says I hate men. That's fucked up. Yeah

That's that's that's that's what's

We live in a world where women aren't people their objects for some people second to this fucking crazy

It's absolutely crazy

I like you're saying that I don't forget to like disagree with you

I don't know man

But but that that hey

I don't I hear what you're saying. I like the edge

Let me play double that okay here. I'm not trying to be provocative

That's saying that's the case. That's a fucking this is I like me

I do have going with that thought and seeing how long you could go with it until the women stop clapping because you

And you're like we live in a world where women are objects first their animals their pieces are shit

They're human garbage no one gives a fucking about women see what he's doing

And you just keep going until the women are like like they would be like yay, yay, and then after a while. They're like wait

He's thought about this too much

This feels prepared

How many women does it take to screw it?

You're doing exactly what I was talking as a feminist. I wonder why it's three

That's not even a thing. You're just naturally being misogynist right now. It's a natural thing

As with alcoholism and racism, I will I will agree first so that people stopped accusing me

And I want I want the conversations about whether you're an ism

The big secret is fucking say yes, I am yeah, and then it's done and because then what are they gonna do help you?

They're not putting in that elbow grace

Your racist your racist. Okay. I'm racist. Yeah. What are we gonna do about this?

Your racist

And I am I am going over there for a drink to tell other people that you're racist

That's what like that's the approach like Jennifer Lawrence who's awesome

Who is it like a ton of stuff coming out and before she was like that's gonna be a backlash soon

And it's just gonna be fine and then because she said that people like well, now we can't do the backlash because you

Told us that's what we were gonna do. It's the best thing to do

He's gonna like with a kip. You're right. Let's bring up race and gender expert Demort Brown

And soccer expert

Demarge hello, this is surprising when did you get that arsenal shirt sweater or whatever you this is from two years ago

Where's it coming fourth?

fourth fourth fourth place that won the cup last week, but they did Jeff and Demort

Wait, how do I soccer? How did they win the cup last week and this week their fourth?

The league they were fourth

The cup is a separate turn and we're all the teams that anyone play each other over the course of the season

The the f a cup yeah, and you can't use your hands

Demarge told me so what is this this is like this don't tell us or anything. What are they doing? Are there bats?

Wait, what?

You say it's not cricket. I do like cricket. Do you watch this idea that the Madrid the

I watched that yesterday on the patio of La Cita with there was no English being spoken

There was a lot of us out of being grilled people were screaming they were up and down

I want to make red one in overtime

I think I was lifted over like five people's heads

You were a toss like a beach boy. Yeah, they were that happy. Why you because I was there

I didn't lift anybody but

Everybody got lifted at a certain point

Jesus

I'm going to a Dodgers game

Next week the kettle one alliance invited me

They really and they sent me a new backpack

It's in the truck of my car. Oh, thank you. Yeah, I have it in the truck and I registered the tracking chip

So somebody might know it's in the trunk. My car is being followed right now by the kettle one alliance

They're not good drivers

I want I want to out of my car immediately

Net heaven alliance

If for that didn't have an alliance, I would be the fucking ambassador for it

All right, I get a copal who brought this or a Raphael. Yeah, Raphael. He's lovely. It's a more more friend at Bronger

Yeah, when do winds do more? It's gonna get his silicon valley

So I want to know this guy's been working his ass off Demorgia's a channel 101 alumni

alumnus

Uh, go to channel 101.com and watch the award-winning record-setting show Gumble

And Demorgia you're the perennial best actor and best everything supporting actor everything on channel 101

Let's just for two years three years. Some of them. That's a lot. It's been there for 10 years though

I will say one-on-one has been a great thing because can I sit there your hair is becoming more and more magnificent as days of the way

I want that hair cute you

I want to wake up tomorrow with your hair. I'm gonna cut it off for real, and I'll give it to you. No

The end of the month don't cut it off

My push is doing a show that he did a bridge town at the end of the month and I play Cornell West and that's the only reason I've been cutting

I'm keeping the Cornell lesson. Yeah

Do you say now people just have you do the Cornell West impression?

Like just then that's is that getting annoying or it's not a because it's not it's just a it's

It's just a character. It's not an introduction. Yeah, it's like I kind of write out bullet points

And then it's more physical than it is

Memorize speech kind of just jump out and wave my arms around widely

I

Can't ask you to do Cornell West

In Iraq as a voice, but I can't do you can do Barack. Yeah, sure Barack was saying

Easy, you know easy. What that's his name Camille

If if if if if if if if if if if I may be so bold as to to call your Camille

Your great citizen and and and what I want to get to

Something emblematic in in in young people and good folks all across this country

Something emblematic in good people like it

That was so good. I almost cared

That's the episode title right now

Something emblem it reminded me of why I voted for him because I was so relieved that a president

I could understand every sentence. He was saying he could you like like Bush couldn't summon the word emblematic

All politicians are parasitic pieces of shit and

Obama speaks and says nothing but but God he can speak it's such a fucking relief

Yeah, he has a command of the English language. Oh, just magical

So gorgeous folks he sometimes too that when he talks to people and talks about it told anecdotes and things

So he can downplay it's just like Bush used to go places and all of a sudden have a twang and it's voice that he didn't have

Yeah, before

Yeah, Spencer. What do you think about

race politics Obama or gender women and women and the TV industry and I'm pro all those things

Well, why don't we

Spencer can we include a demarge in and to a like an NPC character in our well

I thought he would take a player as character. Oh, yeah, I'm I mean sweet wait

On the road a hood we we rail against like gender inequality then we get a dude to play a woman

But he's a black piece

That's right

That's right

Try to start pictures presents

We get a demorges to

I'm

Somebody called me one time. They're like you're not gonna believe this. We were all laughing like crazy last night

We were hanging around

Dan, and he just kept saying black people

Wait, I have no reason last night. Oh, no. It's a wild. Oh, okay

I love the phrase black people. I think it's so funny

It's because it's so weird like it's so ticklish

So it's not it's not inherently offensive

But it sounds so fucking weird. It's just such a weird thing to say

It's so juvenile. It's like you're like action figures like where am I black people?

I don't know. It's just a

Legally

Black people rap and strong

Rapping all day long. It's racist to kind of take black with rap

Not gonna do it sit in my lyrical lap

I'm Dan Harman rapping up a storm. Fuck your mama like cheers with norm

Fuck your mama

Fucker sama

Fucker Obama Obama

Break down. Well, what?

Here's the thing

I bought a ring for my white Michelle

I bought a dog and I tried to sell him, but you want another dog

So we brought him out onto the lawn. We got the exact same one. We actually cloned it. It's a performance

You know folks you have to understand if we don't advance the sciences further

I'm proposing internships

For students all across this nation if you want to volunteer if you want to go to

Bivia if you want to go to Ghana if you want to go to Lisbon or this boys I call it there

Languages are important. You have to speak forward and backward. You have to you have to you have to you have to want to believe

I got this moment. It's shining

In this pot

That was Obama

Rapid in the middle of my rap

Those of us people

Black people

That must have ended my in my 20s

Still yelling out at the top of my lungs black people

It must have been an old

I did not understand the world yet

It's like a graphic novel entertaining myself

I remember I remember we used to freestyle at parties and I would fuck in I was very liberal with my use of the n-word and

Demorgian always walked by right when you said it

Like and I was saying it a lot. I was casting a white net

So it's like but like didn't then Demorgian walked by on the red solo cup and I would just it was just it wasn't like why do you have to be a red

So it wasn't like you

It was it was I just always felt so fucking bad

It would be like, oh man. He's still doing it over here in the corner. He's still still just yelling out the

Corner people go now now cross now

He's gonna say it now go

Yeah

Dameron with a hand signal. He just said figure so go now. He's gonna rhyme that

All right Spencer. Did you did you did you come prepared to do any role-playing with us?

Did you just want to hang out and chat about entertainment gossip and fashion?

Reality TV. Well, I really did just want to talk about some fresh and gossip. All right, can you believe

Kim was wearing at her wedding

I mean, you knew it was never gonna be classic

No, I don't I was concerned. I thought I was looking at the state puff marshmallow man

Are you talking about young young Smith who is dressed all in a white Batman costume?

He is it like a state puff marshmallow man. I think he's truly a monster. I

Really think he who

He didn't Smith. He was he was at the wedding and he was wearing an all white all pure white Batman costume

Like a full mask like you know what it's a wedding and it's their day

He shows up as the son of Will Smith in a white Batman

No

He knows better or even if he's for the parents should be like no, it's their day

Well, if the parent but if the thing of the parents said let's let's go to the Batman store and get you fit it out

Yeah, so how old is he that's what's important if he's like 16 right?

Oh, that's fine. Then then then he went to his dad and said I want to be Batman at the wedding and he's like well

16 is fine

Well, what do you find for

Purr dressing like Batman at a wedding. Yeah

16

Well, 16 year olds are doing amazing things 16 year olds have grown I don't I think that dressing like Batman at a wedding is an amazing thing

You know, what's weird you just convinced me

Now I'm like Jake is awesome. I think he was trying to draw a focus

Why do I even opinion about this? You don't think he's trying to draw a focus at a wedding in a complete

White back it's not just a regular Batman outfit. That wouldn't have been enough. You had a cowl. Oh, yeah

That's awesome

That sounds awesome. I want to see a white Batman costume

He's seeing a picture of her. Well, that looks creepy. It's a this is a black and white photo. So I'm showing me and it just looks like no

That's just she looks like a Mexican wrestler

Black people hey, he's

Rochester wait, what?

Yeah, look at how he looks

That's what he looks like it's a white

It doesn't look as cool. I thought I picture like body armor. It's wrong. There's this

Wow

Billing in a BET commercial

P T show

All right

So wait, I use who's winning was dispenser. It was the Kimmy wedding in Florida. They're not married. Did Jessica marry?

I don't know probably

Hey, what do you think made salange get so mad in that elevator? Oh

I just I just had a good they're like you cannot let him wear a white Batman costume

Jay-Z

Yep, okay, cuz you know Jayden called ahead

Jay-Z was fine with it. We were we were there in that hotel the standard. Oh really?

That's my errand up. She's like, you know anything about this

It's like oh we're the the elevator where salange tried to kick Jay-Z. Oh wow

And I like to I like to frustrate Aaron by having really specific opinions about pop culture things

Yeah, I'd make making her like like meet me on logical grind

About the stuff like like until she finally goes like would you you don't even know these people that I go exactly

What are we doing?

Why are we talking about what why these people do anything I did you know that seal married Heidi Klum at one point?

I just found that out last night. They were married forever. I know

They were like a couple and he proposed to her on an iceberg. I heard what yeah

They said is that a seal joke? I don't know if it's a iceberg

Is he just doing a seal joke? Wait was that a joke you made or is that really what you heard?

The iceberg thing I heard they went cloving afterwards

Don't apologize to me sprezer take it away

Someone will explain to demorge what we're doing at some point

Do you indeed?

I'll be doing D&D. Yeah, we're doing fucking D&D

You've mull rained a

Demorge to merge you're

You're playing Dungeons and Dragons have you ever played it before a long time ago. Nice. It's your character sheet

I never read mine either don't worry about it. Okay. You're

Chapter point is a jumping off point

Last time on Hart and town after recovering from curses and evading law enforcement are he rose had found themselves in

Martigan's bathroom

There they relieved themselves and met with flis dam a scared but friendly check and after calming him down

He revealed he was a member of a secret order the seekers of paradise and took our heroes to meet with this order after a tense

introduction

Introduction Charles Hoffman revealed an ancient relic recovered from ruins

Quark heartily activated the relic by pressing red and opened a deadly and consuming vortex that sucked our party to the magical

Isle of Paradise

There they met Yomiji the guardian over Paradise who demanded our heroes to determine their worth by telling a joke and

Quark did so and told a great joke, but would it cause Yomiji to raffle his ao?

Let's find out

I

Guess strictly speaking it did already

In the past last time on Harmentown. He chuckled he was chuckling and he said that's a nice joke

Yeah, he did do that. All right, so

So are we in the Isle of Paradise you stand in the unfiltered sunlight on the floating Isle of Paradise

Green grass and gorgeous flowers and plants all in bloom

Coate the island which is bordered by fluffy white clouds adrift in the sky

You feel life and vibrance all around you and here rolling laughter of the massive angel rolling around on the ground

He finishes laughing and gets up and grabs his flaming shovel

He lights a cigarette and starts smoking it

You know, you know where the tarragon of virtue is that's our objective

Tarragon of virtue. We're looking for it. Yeah. Yeah

You guys seem pretty worthy

This is a good joke man. There's a good joke man. Yeah. What was the joke? Yeah, welder mask the what?

I'll tell it I'll tell

Well, it's a joke sharpie sharpie. Tell the was she finds a welder's mask

And then he's like walking around with it. He's like, I want an interesting welder's mask

And then a pickup truck comes by and the pickup drivers

It wasn't it's just a guy in a car

That's what he's painting a specific picture to board to the red solo cup. This is a pickup truck

And he goes like hey kid do you want to ride out of the kid goes like

flips up the welder's mask because

Yeah, sure I could use a ride the welder's mask is heavy so

I

Even even though I walked this far now

Like like now I'm in comfort so so

gets in the car truck van and

They start driving and the driver says hey, hey kid do you like

That's my fault

Hey, do you like candy kid flips up the mask and like yeah, I like I like candy

Like flips a mask down. This is the joke. I told I told it right

The driver says hey kid do you do you know what?

Flea show is

the kid flips up the mask and he's like six and

And he says

No, no, no, no

flips a mask down and

And then the the driver says hey kid do you know what?

What

Sodomy is

and

And the kid flips a mask up it says

And

The driver says hey kid do you know what a pedophile is and the kid flips up the mask

Exasperated and says look I got to be honest with you sir. I'm not a real welder

And pretty good

He has to keep flipping the mask up and down, right? Isn't that a thing?

No, I like that's working threes. You made it working for us. So what what happens with the candy. I'm worried because that kid is still with the pedophile

The kid wins I like I like it the kid wins this guy's like oh this kid. Oh, you're not a real welder and then he drops him off

Is that how it is he just wants to fuck kid welders

Mr. I got to be honest with you. I'm not really a welder the end

The guy goes up for the kid. Yeah

No, yeah for everybody

Not for ever the kid wins that is the kid wins the kid wins by beat by being a guileless

The kid the kid gets a chuckle in before he

before he's taking back to

Like I like to I like to think I guys. Oh, I tell you why I've been not smarted. Yeah, I'll drop you off here

I've been out smarted. He's not out smarted. He's been out dumbed

Yeah, same thing. Yeah, so the guy's not turned on by the kid anymore. No

He wanted a welder

He wanted a welder

He doesn't like kids. He wanted to fuck a welder

He was like, sir, you're off the hook. I'm not a welder

So it turns out the guy really was on the prowl first

What a young welder all right

I like to think that it was just any welder and it was kind of hurting him that it was a kid cuz he's wrong

Yeah, he just was like I was a kid didn't know a relationship and suddenly was, you know

Oh, I'm confused about the part where he asks him if he knows what a pedophile is like like why

Why is he asking him and how is any answer to that question gonna benefit the kid taking a hint he's saying like look look like like let's

Let's put our cards in the table

So do you think he was hoping the kid would say I I do know what one is and I'm into it

Not only do I know what a pedophile is I'm all for it

Good

What kind of kid that's into pedophiles doesn't know what filetio is yeah

All right, come on now all right, what's sorry Spencer? No, I'm having a great

I just think the jokes are real bother

It doesn't it does you leave the world you pull your camera pulls out of that truck pick-up truck van

It's a cart. I always pictured it as an orange pickup truck. That's good that that makes you rape me with propane tanks in the bag

Why cuz he's got a day job

Well, he's not just he's gonna he's going to get his propane tanks refilled and and along the way you know a successful pedophile doesn't like

Doesn't put all his eggs in pedophilia's basket like he doesn't

He's on a job. He's gonna. He's gonna make it a side mission. You know like in Grand Theft Auto

It's like a bonus mission. Yeah. It's like I got an age story going on. He's got a hole

He's getting married and I don't know. I think if you're a pedophile that is your age story

Well, I mean

It'll all it'll all be revealed in my new movie Daedalus

Daedalus

Close to the Sun

Jesus Christ yeah, the son of a guy

Daedalus

This just you're gonna make sense to people outside this dude. Yeah, I don't think anybody likes it

But Daedalus did about a pedophile who flew cold to close to the son of a guy

Too close to his neighbor's son

I mean so Spencer Spencer, we just became the writing step for a hustler magazine

We can write a hustler cartoons now, Spencer. I asked first damn our week

It's close to them the guy we're talking to around. No, you're talking to Yomiji the guardian of paradise. Oh shit

Yomiji Yomiji

Yomiji what up

We seek the telegram of virtue. I you got some. Oh, yeah, man

We got all sorts of shit, man. We got bacon bush. We got liquor vines dragon whisperer utopia fruit potion potatoes miracle clover

Can I go back to bacon bush? Yeah, bacon bush. Yeah, man, because there could be a couple of different

You know, we must have met before in like the last episode or something

But I never met you Christopher

What does that you might know? Hey?

Chris let's say to you once you're deal you look fucked up. He wrote. He wrote lady read. Oh, also

He's cursed. He's cursed. He's a bit cursed for a while. You look cool

Yeah, yeah, he keeps trying to kill us and

boyfriend people that's why we need the telegram. How do we fix this joke? Yeah, well the telegram of virtue. I assume

I'm not much into cooking. I'm not gonna be honest

but I love bacon

Bacon bush and bushing bacon bushing. What is it? What is what what it's bacon bush? It's bacon on a bush

It grows the it's a bacon grows out of the bush. Yeah, baby check it out

He reaches into a bush and pulls out cook bacon. Whoa

Magic motherfuckers

Is this but this is pick me?

Meet from a pig and it grows out of a bush. Yeah

Yeah

Did a pig die to make this no it just will probably for the wizard who invented bacon bush that probably killed a lot of pigs. I'd imagine

That's now that's passed. Sir. Is there is there an eggplant?

Mm-hmm like a tree. I think there might be a breakfast tree

There's a breakfast cocktail tree. Yeah, it's spliced together, but you do you have tarragon of virtue?

Yeah, yeah, that sounds familiar

It's a the leafy one, right? Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We got it. Yeah

Can we have it? I don't know what it looks like though. We came all the way to the fucking

Isle of Paradise cool your roll little little gnome one. Honestly, you find a bunch of stuff and one of the things was bacon bush

I'm not gonna look at anything. Yeah, but you got if you're cursed Christopher

You don't fucking know what I know. I'm cursed. We came here. What's your name again? I'm sorry

Yomiji yomiji we came up to the fucking Isle of Paradise because we uh we wanted the tarragon of virtue word

All right, so do you have it or not?

Paradise has it man. I just guard this ship. Do you do you know anybody who has it? I

Just work here, man. How do we get it?

It's on the aisle. This is all around you said you just work here. That's exactly the guy we would talk to I mean stuff

That's a good point

Can argue that logic

You work here. Yeah. Is there you sell the stuff. I just guarded man. Is it can we talk to your manager? There is no manager

There's no bureaucracy. It's paradise. It's got to be guarded. I guard it. All right. Well, I'm gonna walk in a random direction. Mr. Yomiji good call

Let's go around looking for the tarragon. I pick up a blade of egg grass and I

I let it I let it point in a direction

I do I demarcate one of the ends as the pointing end and then I let it fall and then I

Follow the direction that it go that it points it points towards Charles Hoffman who stands cradling and exploded. No

Well, let's let's spin again

I don't know such simple as death. I go over to Charles Hoffman. I

I'm assuming that the game version of me

Isn't an alcoholic and can remember who he is? Probably he's the leader of the seekers of paradise. Is he the guy who's bathroom? I shit it

No, that's what's damn Charles Charles. We're here. I'm sorry for your loss. Yeah

That's yeah one step forward dot dot dot

As springsteen said we could have never guessed that that would happen when you press that red button

Um, you know, we yeah, we dabbled in God's domain and we we we got a we got a warning shot across our bow

But the the important thing is to move on and get this tarragon of virtue. What do you say? That sounds

Good, you think you think you know where it might be around here. You've ever been around here. I know I haven't

Keep walking past him

And I just I'm just walking in that direction. Yeah, we follow you see a little bit of anything

Sorry

You walk away as he's talking. Yeah, and you just go. Where do you go? Just walking in that direction? I'm marching

You come up to a tree. It looks like a massive tree. It's just an apple tree

I shoot laser beams at the back of Clark's head

God damn it. Why?

Because I'm evil

Oh, sorry about that

Did that hurt? Do you do? I haven't got like a like a sorry

Mobility like a trap sense right?

Laser beams aren't a trap

Yeah, yeah, you take nine damage

Sorry, whoa, that's right about what fact what why we helping this guy is an asshole. No

I'm a nice guy. I'm just cursed. I got nine damage. You piece of shit

I used on him. I used my nose

That doesn't do any damage, but it's true. We could just kill him and then

Whoa, no

It would save us a lot of trouble listen. We're here

I know and I feel horrible. Oh, not yeah, yeah hindsight turning 20

I feel horrible. I do I I don't know. I'm a gnome. I look around. I just sniff out

Where I think that the uh, Terrogana virtue might be I sniff out the smell of Terrogana

You you sniff with your gnomish nose and you sniff out a strange scent

But it uh, it smells rather bad to be honest. It's a foul odor. It kind of overtakes everything. Sorry

Smells it smells like a plant, but not good. No, I care again. I'm not like Terrogana

Terrogana smells bad. I wouldn't say not normal Terrogana. I think that smells just fine

Does anybody have knowledge of nature or anything like that in their skill? No

D'marge. I'm a half elf. This is Maureen. Have mom Maureen. She's a ranger

Look at your uh, look under your skills

On the front page

where your name's on it see if knowledge

Parentish knowledge of nature. He's got it. Oh, I have knowledge of nature nine. It's all coming back to you. All right

Well, now we're off to the races

knowledge of nature, and I'm looking around this wooded glade and I

say

Terrogana would grow where the natural loam is so what you smell if that is loam at the edge of that loam

I think there might be Terrogana in other herbs. Nice. I wish you proceed in a breath

If this works out, I'm gonna be stoked

Don't shoot me. No, it's not my call. I'll say behind me. I might it might happen

But I'll be behind you at all. I'll just I'm just not saying it's gonna happen

But if it does it won't be my fault. Are we are you cool with that? He's cursed. I have a whisper bow

Don't attack me. I'm just saying you attacked me. Yeah, I know I feel horrible about it

I don't think you do you seem pretty cool. No, I'm like really bummed about it

Oh, that was a horrible thing. Anyway, let's go. That's it. We're marching. I'm gonna go to the low

I'm gonna get you Christopher. I'm gonna get you so you look to the the edge of the loam and there you see a small

row of five to seven tender

narrow shoots

Scabbing up out of the loam edge

Shoots

shoots

All right, I charge headlong towards the shoots. You do that and you arrive there

I sniff the shoots

They smell they smell just fine

Like Daragon of virtue. I I take out my one of my different knives and I harvest them you harvest the shoots

And I feed them the Christopher are gonna shove him down his throat. Well, okay

Is this a good idea?

Hold on, let's talk about this for one sec. You're in no you're in no place to fucking negotiate right now

Do you think it's a good idea to do we prepare them?

Maybe is it like you have to cook them or do you just eat them?

I don't know. I don't dry them at that text time. You can grind them to a powder

All right, then they lose their natural oils. They're better raw the the stronger they oil all right

I eat them and then I shoot laser beam eyes at quark

It didn't work

He has to roll first with fire. Oh, yeah, you missed those laser-brain eyes

Oh, is he okay?

He eats some many he starts vomiting violently and

Violently

You double over in the fetal position on your floor and in the pool of your vomit

There starts to be a darkness a blackness an eerie corruption

Corruptive presence that hangs it floats up in the air and hangs in the air like a ghostly spirit with a crazy face and it's all like

I don't remember eating that

I

Take my mighty great sword and attack the smoky presence

Attacking the smoky presence with your mighty great sword. You

Seemed to cleave into the flesh of this ghost and you do you do

I do let's see how much damage

What's the damage on that? Sorry everybody. I'm so sorry. It's uh, yeah, you've really been fucking up

It's 11 plus six plus times two

Uh, six seventy-four inch damage. All right. That's a two D8 plus seven two D8 Jesus

That's a good seven. Yep. I mean, I'd say it's good. Yeah

You strike the ghost dealing 18 damage

Causing into a minute a keening whale that hurts your ears and your souls won't maybe it does

It hurts quark soul. It hurts moraine soul

Doesn't hurt uh, Christopher's fuck. Yeah

We've got an understanding

And doesn't hurt uh, Sharpie's soul. Yeah

High five but a quark takes five damage and moraine takes one. Oh, did it hurt you guys soul? Sorry

I feel horrible about it

You're not cursed anymore. Yeah, that's just a special

He's not this is my new vibe

Right a new song

Okay

Right a new hit. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Whoa. Don't worry about it. I got 14 damage. You write a new fucking hit

Lady and Ray was a long time ago, but it's still around. No in the way it happened right now same the sing the bridge

Lady and right is dancing with me cheek cheek the bridge. I don't know what that means. I just fucking sing man

I don't know your turn. He's just another fucking song

How did he even hurt?

In fact about Christopher he was Nick Drake's

Schoolmate and taught him how to play the blues in college. That's right Oxford. I believe yeah for really?

He was the older guy Dick Drake looked up to him. He was playing the blues then only the molar rain. You've uh, you're very doing sold out

Shit, I didn't sell out

What are you talking about? Have you heard lady in red?

Right

I attacked this ghost emanation and then this finish this thing shocking grass

You brass into it shockingly

Or so it would seem because your hands just sink through its ghostly flash and your

Crackling fingers do not discharge into it. Yeah, can I use my whisper bow? Oh, yeah, and if I whisper in elders

Well, I get extra blood

Create extra damage. Yeah, you definitely will. He's never done it. You never played before

He said you're better than all of us

We've never whispered into that bow

Aaron just keeps making things

She thinks it's Minecraft

I'm in heaven

Glowing roots right up on the bow's surface as you are surface as you whisper in elvish and then you quickly knock and loose

Four arrows in rapid succession three of which sink into the uh, you know

I was gonna call it a gnome does more of a ghost skin flesh

Orlando Bloom

One of them manage or one of them just kind of goes through it like a like a like an

Arrow through ghost

But the other two sink into its ghostly flesh and cause it to bleed ectoplasm taking 12 damage

Black people

That's the title of my new song

I just do colors lady and random black

Black people

My hand

Give them a hand. I take my

It's a call the action. Okay, give them a hand

Great, um, I take my poison dagger and

Poison dagger

Yeah, that would be a great son. Can I have that? No, that's ABC. Fuck

So I take my poison dagger and I walk up to the thing and I go never again and I stab it

Because he was inside me for so I'm not a welder and then I stab

I

Stabbing him with your uh, words at the same time your knife plunges in and

Poison courses through its bleed into his ghostly form and he takes six damage

And also his poisons

Oh, he's poison now. I wasn't flanked ghosts can't be flanked

Maybe they can I don't know

What's debated who is he who's turned is it if you've flanked a ghost call into harm in town

1-800

3-6-6-harmon. It's probably too many numbers

They do that sometimes where it's too long, but it just starts dialling but if you're an idiot you keep like

Pressing the numbers. It used to be like. Yeah, it's a farm 3-6-6 harm. It's uh, the ghosts turn. Oh shit

It screams and squeals again, and then it kind of starts to shimmer and vibrate its form becomes more

Imaterial and hazy as it does and then it shoots it shoots directly towards uh

Charles Hoffman

That bullet and

enters his body and he goes

Oh

And then his arms start moving about and he's like

This is cool

And then he goes

Are the

Sinfin verse

No, boy any casts black magic and uh

Black tentacles have ever spread forth from the ground and try to grab at your legs. Oh

That one does

That one does

One doesn't okay

So quark is uh grappled by these tentacles

The rest of you may get a fucking break

I can't either all right missing all what we have to do is we have to feed

Okay, we have to feed tarragon to this nougat now

Are you think so? Yeah, cuz that's how the thing comes out right to do it

Okay, well, it's not my turn though. I pass

Really yeah, okay

You think is there is there more tarragon did we feed it all to you look more around with your

Half-elf eyes and your knowledge of what tarragon looks like and you see maybe about 15 feet off

There's some in the shade of a bacon bush. All right

Now I have to make one stop

Tarragon grows in the shade of the bacon bush

Uh, so then I I rush toward the bush

Then fending off this guy who wants the bacon

Uh, and I rip up the tarragon. What's there in clumps you grab several clumps?

I rush back to the tentacle feed it to

Chef shove it down like a throw this off and of this thing attacking me. Yes. I have it. I have it and I

Making eat it

You try to make him he eat it. He's he's rustling you, but you get him you get him in the headlock

And you just stuff a clump of tarragon in his mouth

And he he also goes into a fetal vomiting position and and vomits

The ghost up again and the ghost starts screaming and making all sorts of a ruckus. Oh, this ghost again. All right everybody

Yeah, attack this ghost. Well also everybody grab a bunch of tarragon

Yeah, just I just have it and bushels around

Yeah, just fill you pocket tarragon. Did you bring any extra? Did he have any extra? He got several clumps worth. Oh

All right, I take one of the clumps. I have a clump. I'm bummed that my shocking grasp didn't work

You're um, but I'm not gonna let it get to me your hands are still electric-y

Yeah, yep

Use them well, but it doesn't work on them. Yeah. It doesn't work. Oh, can I ask you about bull's strength? Yeah. Is that a beer?

Yeah, it's a half a fight

What is what is bull's strength?

There's a lot of half a fight

We did a joke on like half a ball. Is that oh, I guess it was

You didn't know and you said that it was the most comedic

Beer thing I could think of but it also worked as a pun. Yeah

Well, you get for not going for a locker

What is bull's strength? It gives one touch to target one d4 plus one strength. Oh, don't give it to that guy

Yeah

I

Think I mean what we're doing is working. I'm just gonna

Attack this ghost. Yeah, I'm gonna wish isn't it poisoned also. Oh, it's ghost poisoned. Um, I

I take my short bow and

I tie the poison dagger to the tip of it

And I whispered the same stuff that he whispered into his thing. I'm like, I don't know if that's gonna work

but

Here it comes

So I say that too. You said you tied it to your bow or your an arrow

You know what I meant. I mean, it's an important distinction. Okay. I want I call it to your meat sheet

I kill the uh, it's a kill the ghost. I'm on break

I tie it to the arrow that there must be steak bills

I'm knee deep in utopia fruits. What? I I tied it to the arrow

Okay, and I aim up above it but since I'm a master arrow's men

What did you tie to the arrow the poison dagger you tied a dagger to an arrow

Tie the poison dagger

To my heart. Can I have that? Oh

Bell what is the what is what is what is gonna happen? The arrow is gonna go into him and the dagger is gonna

hurt him

He just come here. Oh and I put tarragon on it too on the arrow someone yelled this out

So I'm going right to the sorry. So it so I got I got an arrow

I got the poison dagger on the arrow. I got tarragon on the it's like the turn ducking of weapons

It's a big cmb so you you arc you aim upwards to counterbalance the weight you're adding to this arrow

And you loose it from your bow and it plunks right into the heart of this ghost. Yeah

But but it slides through harmlessly and just impacts the soil and the paradise below he seems completely

unharmed somehow

Can I draw my speedy long bow? Yep, and I use my power to heat up metal to

Warm the shafts of the blade the shafts of what the shafts of the arrows

That's what it would be metal head not okay. Yeah, sure. Yeah, you just warm my shaft

That comes later

first I fire

Five at once I think you can only do three damn it out of the whispering. Well, I'll speak the auto whisper

Yeah, you can only whisper once per day. Can I shout?

Until you lose your voice, yeah

So three hours, yeah

Good sure

All right two of your arrows miss, but let me hit some right in his ghost eye

It's a critical hit in each

23 damage

So

I think quark has a move

Yeah, wait did you do yours? I don't think you've got to like it whenever it's a mortgage gets a victory

We then we then take it away from him by ascribing it to all black people. No, but I thought we were just doing it that every time something

Good happened

I'm connecting the dots and I'm going like let the guy have a victory like

Calling out black people every time he does something great. You know, it's it's really it's really

I go to a barbarian rage into barbarian rage and take my flaming sword and attack the ghost all right

Flying into a barbarian rage rage settles over your face and your body

It's comfortable

Somehow that's probably why your barbarian and you charge directly at the ghost and

Slash with your great sword

But uh, yeah, you don't hit oh shit

He seems to jump upwards or hover upwards or ghost dodge in some direction and he doesn't take any damage from your sword

Instead he starts shimmering and vibrating again and squealing

and then he he flies

Away from you guys he goes straight past you straight towards yo-mi-ji

Oh, no, we don't care that no, we do if he gets inside you

Smacks him right in the face with his ghostness

And he yo-mi-ji is like

No, why why don't we want we don't want to fight yo-mi-ji now

We could just run away right?

He's the leader of the

He's the guardian of the fucking he's a giant

Yeah, yeah, everybody says the last time you enter a fear with my plans grab tarragon

We have more right we are we all go grab tarragon

With this form, I will annihilate you

He says while you're grabbing extra tarragon. Can I use mage hand to force-feed tarragon to yo-mi-ji?

Yeah

That's what I want to try I might extra

On the float the chair again over yeah, I'm gonna do the here comes the airplane

Yeah

Floating with your mage hand levitating this tarragon of virtue

Within the range of the spell you you fly it up to his face and he pokes it with his flaming shovel and burns it to a uh, a cinders

Someone's cranky

We got to fight this motherfucker. Yeah, I mean we have to get tarragon into a system somehow

Am I still on a rage? Yeah, I just go far sword flaming far sword at him from from a distance

When you get you know, we're not trying to feed him the food anymore now

I'm gonna kill this motherfucker

You don't want to kill me

Try to kill guy get some get some goo tarragon goo on your bleated weapons

Maybe yeah, can I do that put it on an arrowhead? Yeah, I have a ribbon at your knife to anything

What was the attack you did?

Flaming far sword flaming far sword attack, but you might have lost your footing or something. Jesus Christ

It goes it goes downward and starts and it hits the ground and starts a fire on paradise

Uh

Everything we touch turns to shit

How much how much fire armor can I create

You can create plenty for yourself, but none for other people. Well, I create come on by myself

Black person

Like create fire

Armor for myself

Breathing yourself in flames. You feel that fire will no longer hurt you

Can I take my ribbon dagger and as

Sharpie suggested rub some tarragon on it and then throw it at

You meet you and do the airplane thing

Wait, what's the airplane thing here comes the airplane hoping that he opens his mouth

So you you you do that you tie it or you rub it or whatever and then you start whipping around the assassin dagger

Throw it your foe

But it also goes awry. I think you let it go a bit too late when it's coming around and smacks you in the face

Jesus Christ

What I'm running a lot of ones today

So it doesn't hurt me that much. That's good. It hurts you for two damage when it's healed smacksy in the eye

Adventure got a black eye

Avenger

Scrawl

Here's city leafy tarragon leaves with your talons or as El Pacino calls them talons

And and and and coat coat your talons in in tarragon aloe

Scrawl

Charge that demon he that charges that demon

It uh it charges that demon, but he uh he's got thick skin or something. It's not working. What the fuck man

What do you just want to go home? No, I'm just not rolling high enough. What's a crazy shot? What's up? What's crazy shot? Is that a thing there? It says make up a name. Sounds like a guy richy movie

It sounds like a character sounds like a lot of white pants and freeze frames

If I remember correctly, that's that's the special name. I guess it's not not a name

But it's the special name of using the whisper bell

So that would have already been used. Oh, gotcha

She it who's turned is it

My turn yay

So you'll meet you his head starts spinning around like an exorcism

And he's he's spitting acid all over the place all over all of you's in a circle

He's spitting acid at you

So uh roll reflexes like sort of like a water sprinkler kind of thing

Yeah, except without that hammer that makes it go all the way back, you know

So

Everybody but quark manages or no everybody but quark gets hit by the acid quark manages to dodge it away

No, you don't use

Yeah, I said it fucked up all-star. I said that fucked up all-star. I said fucked up all-star like it's something that has meaning

All right

Maureen takes two damage

Christopher takes seven and a sharpie takes four damage as acid burns your skin

I say we run. Yeah, let's say we fucking run. We gotta go. We gotta get out of this beat this brother fucker

Have you looked at him? Nothing is working

Huh? He's a giant because we keep rolling ones. Let's fucking this muscle up. What does that mean?

Let's fucking fuck your strategies to get luck here. Yes

Let's get lucky. I use weapon focus and do a mighty sword attack