Harmontown Transcripts
These are transcripts for every available Harmontown episode, transcribed using OpenAI Whisper. Code available at
koratkar/harmontown
. Inspired by
Lexicap
.
Episodes:
Nanjianimax
Harmontown Reunion!
Ad Nauseam
Cliffhanger!
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Crushing Puss
Top 10 Funniest Things
What’s Up My Twitta?
MC Late
Hershey’s Rorschach
Mobile Pork Unit
Nice Dunking, Cool Swishing
Throw Me Under the Grassy Knoll
The Cowboy Rulebook
You Have Ten Seconds to Comply
Creamweavers
Bequeathing Teaspoons
The Breasts Feel Fine, Wherever They Are
Every Day is a New Hate
Oh the Places You Won’t Go
God Bless, But God Damn
Poolitics
Musk Balloons
Ketel One, Audience Zero
It’s Not Called Show-Friends
Swinging Three Bats
This Trident Has Four Dents
I Was a Simpson
Mon the Perim
What If Dan Had Four Ears?
The MacArthur Park Handjobber
The Scootie Cutie
No Recompense!
High as Bat Pussy
All Dicks Are Webbed
Wolf Urine
Jeff’s Joke Corner
A Cardigan with Stab Holes
Bootie Etiquette
Get Off My Lawn, Words
Aunt Tipathy
Adam Ruins Harmontown
WOKE AF HASHTAG
Rise the Boats
This Much Funches
Goodbye Sam
MC Non-Binary Chicken
Rich Man’s NASCAR
Amy Grant Made My Puberty and My Atheism Happen
Rocket My Face Into Another Guy’s Face
You’re the Good Kind of Fat
Ducks Don’t Be Gay
Live from the New York Comedy Festival 2018
Twenty Sides of Booty
Asexual Cowboy
Firehouse Ghost
Soft on Hitler, Hard on Dicks
French Spencer
Cholo to Cholo: Crackers Try
Smiles Wider Than Their Faces
Magic Shinto Hat
Frog Complex
You Can Freeze Me For Seven Dollars
SuperNova
We Do Right by Whatever You Are
Rock Me Homo Deus
Homeless Sapiens
You Got That Baby To Tell The Truth
You Can Live Forever Here at Bevmo
Dadfished
A Gold Medallion
LIVE from The Cradle of Aviation Museum in Long Island, NY
LIVE from The Wilbur in Boston 2018
Grimlock Love Slimewave Pornography
A Turd in a Slipper
Huh Huh Huh Huh Huh Huh
The Roadhouse Jews
That Brain, She Die
All the Shingle Ladies
A Ken Dolan’s Production
They’re Coming to Get You Barbara
Necrophilia Questions
The Christmas with No Underwear
If I Need a Gas Mask, I’d Rather Be Dead
Let’s Talk About Prostate Massage
Oh Hitler, We Hardly Knew Ye
I Will Put Your Kids on Blast
Cheapy Peepy II: I Love You Cheapy Peepy
Cheapy Peepy
We Could Disappear Up Each Other’s Asses
LIVE From SF Sketchfest 2018
How Much D Do I T?
Don’t Let Him Wipe or Flush
Orphan Don’t Even Have No Internet
The Boy Who Ate The Most Spaghetti
Dan Rates Every Animal
Socialists Dress Like Spencer
We Killed Charles Manson
No Lime
The Pearl is Ragnarok
Cheese Stain
Seventeen Chicken Boots
Porcelain Birds
Grodily Plausible
Oym
Pajampion
Retired Ninja Quarterly
I Change the World’s Oil
Dan Harmon’s Top Five Shoe Jokes
The Ian Bowers Birthday Special
Down with Sighty
No Church People Got No Hortches
Epeephany
Brothers Killing Brothers for Some Dank Memes
I Don’t Want to Ghostsplain
Harmontown From ID10T Fest
Come Out and Fight Like a Ghost
Everything is Sexy When You Trust Someone
Your Description of a Birthday Would Make Vonnegut Kill Himself
Explain Your World View
God Made Us To Kill Us
Adult Onset Pyromania
The Final Meltdown
Kumanji
Blackest Friend in the World
LIVE from the Chicago Improv Festival 2017
My name is Johnny Varvatos
Less Than White
LIVE from Esther’s Follies at SXSW’17 in Austin, TX
LIVE from the Cherokee Casino in West Siloam Springs, OK
The Patron Saint of Acid Wash
The Only Enemy is Stopping
You're An Ant To My Cum
Pacman Versus Garfield
LIVE From SF Sketchfest 2017
Health Care Is Good, Black People Deserve To Live
I F_cking Love White Sh_t
Harmontownunder: Sydney Opera House Night 2
Harmontownunder: Sydney Opera House Night 1
Harmontownunder: Melbourne, Australia
Harmontownunder: Brisbane, Australia
Charles Manson Shark Tank
Anne Frank Kicked A Cat Once
It Happened In Silverlake
Night 2 At The 2016 New York City Comedy Festival!
Night 1 At The 2016 New York City Comedy Festival!
Walter Blanco
I Wanna Shave With Me
No On Prop 60
Amazing Blades
Live At JFL Toronto 2016
ED-209
The Medicine Of Attention
JonBenét Gacy
A Haunted House With A Glass Ceiling
Pantyhose & Coconuts
Kratom Barrel
LIVE from Just for Laughs Montreal 2016
Celebrity Highlander
LIVE in San Diego 2016 (During A Comic Book Convention)
I'm Drunk And High And Shouldn't Have A Podcast
Pubic Hairs Travel Or Migrate
A Lady Who Is Famous For Killing Her Baby
Black Woman Against Over Here
Simulation
Flesh Thing Made Of Four Strings Of Dude
Complete Access To Air
Stop Singing And Make A Chair
Problematizing
What Did You Do To Norman Lear?
Talk, Talk, Talk, Wounded
Ghost Dinosaurs
Give Black People A Chance To Hear Crickets
Monochromophiliacs
Pineapple
Monster Man
Donna Schrab Gets Things Done
The Four Points Of The Triangle
Auld Lang Schrab
LIVE in Chicago 2016 at Park West!
Strain Has A New First Name
Disproportionate
Sociopolitical Anal Beads
LIVE From Magic City Comic Con
Your Boobs Are Sick
LIVE at San Francisco Sketchfest 2016!
Press F To Control Fred
Why Is It Called Lord of the Rings?
I Don't Want To Die!
Princess Spencer Crittenden Nipples
Crazy Gums
LIVE at The Gramercy, NY Comedy Festival 2015: Night 2
LIVE at The Gramercy, NY Comedy Festival 2015: Night 1
I Gymnastics Over To Her
We Will Be There To Service The Aquarium
A Little Handicap
Live From The SeeSo Launch at the New York Television Festival 2015
Confirmed By A Well Respected Arborist
#CHIOPS
Where The Moon?
Peak Hitler
NeuroTitties
Sperm Count
Pink Mist
AWWW
Firetruck
While in Stealth Mode Press ‘X’ to Kiss Your Wife
LIVE From UCB East in New York
Poop Is Temporary, Money Is Forever
LIVE from The Tin Roof in San Diego 2015
Taye Brigston, the Littlest Show Promoter
You Do Not Spam Fireballs
White Guilt Kerosene On The White Guilt Bonfire
Row, Row, Row Your Boat
Where My Technochromes At?
LIVE from Everything Is Festival 2015
Easy, Sisyphus
High Concept Humiliation
Definitely Squatchy, Bro (LIVE from Bridgetown 2015!)
Swastika Made Of Dicks
Operation Metalbeast
Retardinol
Kiss On Your Balls
The Jews Abide
Hobos Don't Talk Back To Nobody
LIVE at SXSW 2015
Hologram Crawford
Jesus Christ This Business Is Risky
Dick Pic
Wide
Dogs, Cats and Danny DeVito
DeMorge Do You Know Jamal?
You Make My Shadow Run with David Cross!
Dirty Little Potato People
There's Nothing To Be Ashamed Of Except America
Best Of A Bad Lot
That's my wife's pie, you bitch!
Ant Ball
LIVE from Chicago with comptroller Dino Stamatopolous!
Lets Teach Duncan Trussell How To Be Mean feat. Joel McHale
LIVE in Houston, TX with comptroller Erin McGathy!
LIVE from Austin, TX with LEVAR BURTON
LIVE from The Roxie in San Francisco feat. Steve Agee
LIVE from 92y in NYC feat. Gilbert Gottfried
LIVE in Toronto feat. Bobcat Goldthwait!
LIVE at the Vista with bonus Q&A
LIVE from Seattle 2014 feat. Dino Stamatopoulos!
Debbie Request Permission To Do Dallas
LIVE From The XOXO Festival 2014 in Portland
Oh, the Blimpery!
Slick Rick & The Batman
FlagCop
Popeye Is Our Lord And Savior
Fluid Levitation
Dana Carvey Has Never Done Anything Wrong (feat. Tenacious D)
Jaime Lannister's Hand
I Make A 5 Stars
Clever Girl
Pakisnap!
Game Recognize Game
Death To Superman
Tony Shalhoub Award
Sleepy Canyoneer
ePaloma
Boner-Hurt Kansas
Live From Bridgetown 2014!
HARMONOLOGY
HARMONTOWN NIGHTS PREVIEW
Long Brown Blood
SWAN OF DURG-A-DURG
Bill Martigans
Live From SXSW '14 + Movie Q&A
McConaissance
It's Not Personal, It's Business
Net Neutrality/Butt Fun
CyberChrist and Stubnortz
Live At Cobb's in San Francisco with Joel Hodgson
My Whole Life Is A Smile
Kiss Doesn't Get The Joke
Constitutional Belieber
Gender Neutrality
Low Jack For Your Back Pack, Crackerjack!
DICKS AND BALLS AND BEER
Jim Belushi's Basement (with Mitch Hurwitz)
Hot Dog With Lettuce (Laraine Newman, Dr. Chris Ryan)
Harmontown At Largo (Justin Roiland, John Oliver, Sarah Chalke)
Dangle, Dipping and Heel Popping
Earthshine
Carpool Diem
Hug Me, Hug Me, Hug Me
Selling Like Hot Snakes
Morality
From Kennedy's Assassination, To The Beatles
Jib Jab Squeeb Squab
Push The Button, Pull The Chain
Gone Fishin'
Cobra Customer Service
Jolly Rodger
Click Here For Bacardi
Frequently I Am A Woman In My Dreams
Tim Tums Are Where Cake and Vodka Go
I Would Be Mega Black (James Urbaniak)
Everyone in the World is Stupid
Blinking 12:00
USS Hubris
Us Of The Dangling Wee-Wee
Writing Tips From A Jerk
I'm Like Very Science
Blood on the Corn
Language is Thought and Spiders are Black People
Shahruz the Web Guru
Go, Marbles, Go! (Duncan Trussell, Greg Proops)
National Tragedy Special (Kumail Nanjiani)
By the Power of Bored Audience Skull! (Kumail Nanjiani)
Bikers Without Bikes (Robin Williams, Bobcat Goldthwait)
Joe Jackson: Steppin' Out
Jock Jams and Pearl Jams
Felicity Wackamole (Doug Benson, Kumail Nanjiani)
Procrasturbation
Neigh Means Yay
Dan Took a Shower (Kumail Nanjiani, Bobcat Goldthwait)
Dudes and Goo (DC Pierson, Kumail Nanjiani)
Harmoncountry: Los Angeles (Bobcat Goldthwait, Marc Maron, Duncan Trussell)
Harmoncountry: San Francisco, CA
Harmoncountry: Portland, OR
Harmoncountry: Salt Lake City, UT
Harmoncountry: Denver, CO
Harmoncountry: Kansas City, KS
Harmoncountry: Minneapolis, MN
Harmoncountry: Madison, WI
Harmoncountry: Chicago, IL
Harmoncountry: Bloomington, IN
Harmoncountry: Pittsburgh, PA
Harmoncountry: Arlington, VA
Harmoncountry: Providence, RI
Harmoncountry: Sommerville, MA
Harmoncountry: Brooklyn, NY
Harmoncountry: Charlotte, NC
Harmoncountry: Nashville, TN
Harmoncountry: Atlanta, GA
Harmoncountry: Austin, TX
Harmoncountry: Phoenix, Arizona
Turtle Panties
Nanu Nanu, I'm Racist
Adventurtunity Mobisode!
Flesh Knife
Everyone's a Rapper!
Sand Pollution: The Journals of Young Morrisey
Grumblesnakes!
A Four Day March to the Butt's Expanse
Don't Ask Black People Time Travel Questions
Tyler Perry's Antisemitic Pickle Ziggurat (10.15.12)
Back To The Future Part Kush (10.01.12)
Death, Fascism and the Pursuit of Not Remaking Robocop
Tylenol With Codeine (9.17.12)
A Tuppence or a Shilling for Your Wainscotting (9.10.12)
Examine Before You Fight (9.4.12)
Cleft In Twain! (8.27.12)
Cranky Mayors, Pink Hairs and Shoelace Cares (8.20.12)
Atonement with the Mannequins and Butts (8.16.12)
Confessions Of An Alcoholic Mars Rover (8.7.12)
The Technology Of N-Words (7.31.12)
If They Have Cubs, We're Already Dead (7.23.12)
The Inception Of Girlfriends (7.16.12)
Achieve Weightlessness (6.16.12)